I never finish anything

I’m truly terrible at time management. Lately, I haven’t carved out enough time to read a book properly. The main distraction behind this has been Gravity Falls, which I have been watching on Hulu after work, when I’m not doing the dishes or shopping for things for the apartment. It’s a little frustrating because I love to read. I just don’t have the fervor that I used to for sitting down and focusing on a book. My primary tactic for overcoming a reading slump is to simply set aside 30 min-1 hr every day where I can just sit and read. That’s still a lot less reading than I used to do but it’s a practice that will hopefully bring focus to my pitiful attention span. 

I’ll let you know how that goes. Right now I’m reading Six of Crows and, let me tell you, it is ūüĎĆ.

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On writing and not giving up

I’m so good at giving up and putting things off. My head is also good at convincing my heart that I don’t need prayer as much as I think I do. But, you know, I really do. There is a lot going on right now and I need help.

Last week, I attempted to form a habit of daily journaling, in an attempt to capture where most of my thinking is going. I forgot most days but I’m going to keep it going. It is only a couple sentences a day, nothing too heavy. But if it’s a big thought, I let myself go on if I need to.

In other news, this book has been my companion during my most recent reading slump.


Lately I’ve been trying to do two or three chapters every day so that I stay in the habit but not too much so that it feels like I’m forcing myself to read when there are other things that I could be doing. But why read at all if I don’t feel like reading? Why make the effort? Well, I know me and I know that the time I don’t spend reading will likely be spent scrolling through Tumblr or YouTube. Not bad things in and of themselves but I hate to catch myself doing either one for too long. And I would rather be reading. Even if I don’t feel like it in the moment.

I also saw this film this past weekend

¬†It was delightfully tense and well thought out. Also, it was the first really good film I’ve seen this year. It’s actually the first 2016 film I’ve seen this year at all! (I missed¬†Deadpool¬†but will get around to it when I get around to it)

Also, I like the way the new Spider-Man looks. There are those who think he looks too cartoonish but I love the design. His eyes are especially great as they are more expressive then previous interpretations. Also, the kid who is playing him is an actual age-appropriate youth! I have high hopes for this one.

This week was hard. Not busy, but hard. Work was manageable but I found myself in uncomfortable situations where maybe I didn’t handle myself in the best way I could have. But that’s what grace is for, right?

On a lighter note, I’ve completed my little Belcher collection and how cute are they?

  

 Plus, I’m combating my reading slump by reading this book. (Please hold your judgment! I’m choosing to base my opinion solely on the quality of the character writing, world building, and snappy one-liners that this particular author excels at)

I’ve also been occupying my time with these two shows and looking forward to the return of these three shows. So, I have plenty of distractions, in case you were wondering.

Also, I have been lowkey making some future living together plans with a friend, complete with a Pinterest board, full of ideas.

Other activities include trying not to live in the past, letting go of awkward situations and not beating myself up over blunders.

Like I said, it was a tough week and I’m ready for a rest.

October

Today I’m thinking about October, cold weather, how to get over/get through tumultuous feelings and prayer.

October is such a wonderful month. It’s finally fall and finally cold enough to drink hot tea again (one of my favorite pastimes).

But lately I have also been thinking about my own unbelief. When I pray, I don’t follow it up with faith. I don’t consider the fact that God is listening to me and that He will take care of all my needs. I just think to myself, “Well, I’ve done my duty and God will do what He can. In the meantime, I will get right back to worrying because an actively worrying mind is the only way to combat all of the things that I need to accomplish, right?” This is how my mind works, folks.

In the meantime, I have been watching¬†this¬†with Sarah bear and reading¬†this¬†very slowly. I don’t read nearly as fast as I used to before college (which wasn’t that fast to begin with) but I have learned to be okay with that. Reading is a hobby that I love and I decided a while ago that I didn’t want to add pressure to an area of my life that I enjoy because I have enough stress as it is!

Things I learned

I learned that being angry, or rather staying angry, is a very dangerous thing. Better to pray about it right away and breathe it out rather than let it sit in your chest poisoning you from the inside.

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I rediscovered my love for Naruto, which I watched in high school then went on a brief hiatus from during my college years. I watched the entire first series during high school so now I have been becoming acquainted with Shippuden, the sequel series. It’s quite good and it’s rather like being reunited¬†with old friends that you’ve missed dearly, which can be a very sweet thing.

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I need to learn to be kinder to my body. I need to eat healthier and be more active. Also, since an integral part of my job is lifting heavy objects, I need to learn to lift with my legs.

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Reading used to be a thing that I pressured/guilted myself into doing. I had a grand plan to read 30 books this year. I don’t think that will happen. It seems a very strange thing to meet someone who loves to read so much and yet can never seem to get around to it. People who love to read just seem to make time for it somehow! But if it’s something that I enjoy, then I should enjoy it in my own way. I have enough stress in my life without pressuring myself to read more. Speaking of, right now I’m reading¬†The Husband’s Secret¬†by Liane Moriarty and it is simply delightful.

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I’m very sad for the Fantastic Four film. I wanted so badly for it to be good. Reboots can be kind of annoying with how often they occur (Don’t worry, Tom Holland! I’m sure¬†you¬†have a good ten years worth of Spider-man in you before you’re replaced!) but they can also be seen as a fresh start. I was hoping that this would be the case for the Fantastic Four. Alas, not. It was a considerable flop and those who saw it seemed to think it was dull and lacking in any color, enjoyment, or substance. One film reviewer who I follow, Chris Stuckmann¬†said that there was far too much talking and not enough ‘things happening.’ That’s not how a superhero film should be.