Do you ever have that sensation where you’re itching and you feel uncomfortable in your own skin? Whenever I get this way, I have to seclude myself and do something mindless like scroll through my instagram or Twitter feed. A cup of tea usually helps too as does taking a few deep breaths to re-center myself. I have to pray also so that I can remind myself that I’m under God’s control and not my own. Also because prayer is just a good and necessary thing to do, especially when you’re in a state of distress.
Usually this will happen when I’m with a lot of people and my social anxiety will flare up. Sometimes I worry about becoming a hermit because I value my alone time so much. Not to mention that it depresses me that I should need so much time by myself. God created His people to be social and I’m not supposed to spend all my time by myself. Nor do I want to. I appreciate my friends and my family but sometimes I just need to be….alone.
I struggled for three weeks to come up with something worth writing about and sharing….until I came to the conclusion that I don’t need to wait for my life to get exciting to write. I can write about the daily mundane things and that’s just fine.
Another thing that’s just fine is when life is painful. I haven’t experienced any tragedies or horrors but still life has been difficult lately and I have been struggling. I’m hoping and praying that the things that seem hard and scary now will become less so a few months from now.
So that is what I will continue to do for now. I will continue to read, watch anime, drink tea, do all the things that I love and wait on the Lord.
My month-long silence has mostly been due to emotional difficulties, writer’s block, and laziness.
I’ve considered things that I wanted to write about and explore but it just never happened. Writing isn’t something that I like to force, but I do think that a little push every now and then is a good idea.
With that being said, I hope I can start thinking about more things soon.